Living in a patriarchal society, I ask myself questions. Why do I as a man have so many privileges? If men are equal in standing to women, they also profit - for example, through shared responsibility and more freedom to express themselves. That is why circumstances keeping women back must be eliminated.

The term "gender" is not synonymous for "women" but is often used in that way. The view that gender issues only concern women has served as an excuse to avoid addressing the gender stereotypes that have imprisoned men and women. Moreover, men have taken little, if any, interest in responding to the challenges women have been raising over the years. Nevertheless, gender issues demand men's participation since men need to change to realize overall change.

Men have allowed themselves to dominate or ignore reproductive rights, parenting, and active participation in family-planning matters instead of sharing those responsibilities. Many women are largely denied the freedom to decide whether they can have children or not. Ending domestic violence must become men's reponsibility. They should further see themselves as partners in addressing the problem of other men's lack of interest and concern about educating one another about their role in HIV/AIDS awareness education.

Generally, men enjoy privileges associated with gender roles assigned to them at the expense of women. Why then do they find special privileges necessary when they claim to be stronger, braver and more creative and intelligent than women? One soon realizes that men have been living a myth that needs to be challenged. Padare/Enkundleni/Men's Forum on Gender (Padare), an antisexist organization for men in Zimbabwe, encourages men to respond to gender inequality in our society. Its message is clear: men must welcome women's invitation to help create a gender-sensitive society. To enjoy being truly human and to build a just society, men must recognize women as equal partners.

The separation of gender roles also restricts male creativeness. In Zimbabwe and most countries in Southern Africa, for example, men are not supposed to work in the kitchen as this is considered women's domain. Expression of love is also limited in the sense that they cannot make their girlfriends, wives, sisters or mothers a nice meal for fear of being misunderstood as compromising their "manhood."

One other assumption also needs to be challenged. So often when we talk about gender inequality we think of heterosexual people. The concept of gender should also apply equally to gay men and lesbian women. While their sexual orientation is a departure from heterosexual definitions, some of them remain imprisoned in stereotyped gender roles in their relationships. This has resulted in violence and abuse in gay communities.

Men who are involved in this process need to be more visible in society. Padare encourages men to recognize and reject destructive assumptions and perceptions that result in gender inequality. Out of this process, a new definition of manhood is emerging. Men are understanding that the gender struggle is not about lifting women to the position of men. After all, men have been elevated to a super-human position through patriarchy and the tensions that result from such a life of pretense are quite high, unhealthy and unsustainable for men and society in the long term.

Men need to cooperate with women who have been working on gender issues, sometimes in isolation and sometimes dealing with hostile men threatened by the prospect of change. For example, many times men in Zimbabwe have stood in the way of women's access to information that is likely to increase their knowledge and status. Cooperation will allow men to help rather than block that access.

Our vision for the creation of a society established on gender justice requires the involvement of every man and woman. We recognize, however, that men have a particular responsibility in this effort. Men need to be challenged continually to seek change. This means openly and publicly rejecting the current image of manhood. Developing a new man whose existence does not depend on any form of violence and abuse of women is possible!